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Love needs fresh eyes

When you first meet somebody all their little peculiarities, they are endearing, they are very cute. They are just charming. Then over time these things wear on you. These things are things that you find difficult to deal with on a daily basis.
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8 hugs a day

I watch these videos online and they are called TED videos. It stands for technology education and design. They are really good. They are based on a conference that is explained once a year in Monterrey. And some of the brightest minds come to speak. This TED video was Paul Zak talking about the hormone oxytocin. And he called it the trust hormone. He also referred to it as the morality hormone. And he was making the point that flooding a human with oxytocin results in a human making more trustworthy decisions or exhibiting more trustworthy behavior.
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Feed the fish

The question that I have for you today is have you fed your fish today? Okay this is what I mean, you remember when you were a child hopefully at some point your mom or your dad brought up to you the care and feeding of your pets. And regardless if it was a hamster or a pert snake or your fish, you had to remember to feed it. And you have to remember to clean up the poop. And you have to remember to clean the cage.
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Don’t do these two things at once

Here’s a really good simple tip for you. This is a quick one. Almost every time that you find a point of conflict with your spouse, with your mate, with your partner, with your girlfriend, with your boyfriend. Almost every time that you find a point of conflict you do two things at once. And the tip for today is to do one thing, then do the other thing.
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Four ways jealousy works against you

Sometimes you feel jealous. I understand that – it’s understandable. But there’s a problem with jealousy – actually there are four problems with jealousy. I don’t know if you realize the things that you set in motion when you act out your jealousy. The first one is do you realize how insulting it is to your partner when you doubt them, when you disbelieve them, when you accuse them of things you haven’t done? If they are being faithful and true to you and if they’re being loyal to you, do you realize what harm you’re doing to that person and what harm you’re doing to that relationship by giving them such a grievous insult? So that’s one thing I want you to consider. If they’re telling the truth you’re insulting them.

The second reason I want you to think about, the second problem with jealousy (more…)

 
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Planned Spontaneity

There are two very different dynamics in the new stage when you’re just getting to know somebody. When you’re flirting with them they might like you or they might not like you, or you might like them or you may not like them.

The relationship phase is the stable phase where you guys have fallen into a rhythm and you know you like each other and you can depend on each other. The advantage of the first stage is that it’s unpredictable. Unpredictability is excitement, it’s adventure, and it’s suspense. The advantage of the second (more…)

 
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To hell with the weaknesses

Every person has some noticeable weaknesses and every person has strengths too. Now every person has these and this is what I want you to think about today. Those people that have weaknesses that you really just can’t tolerate, people whose weaknesses you just don’t enjoy and can’t stand, you leave outside of your life – you do. You only bring people into your life – you only have people in your life whose weaknesses are not as important as their strengths.

You’ve conjured up these people in your life and you’ve kept them in your life (more…)

 
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Build a Routine of Reconnection

I would like you to build a routine of reconnecting. A routine that builds intimacy and connections. What we do nowadays in this busy world of ours -at least those of us living in the 9 to 5 and in suburbia- is really frightening in terms of intimacy. We spend our work days dealing with strangers, dealing with stressors. Then we come home, we plop ourselves in front of the TV. We will watch stressful events on the news. Then we sit down for dinner. We have a quick dinner and then back to the TV. Then after this we expect that there might be some intimacy in bed. We expect there might be some romance in bed.

What I’m saying is that it is very difficult and really improbable. There is no build up and it’s just forced, awkward and on top of that it’s at a time when you both are tired and sleepy and waning your energy of the day. What I want you to do is build a different

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