Here’s a really good simple tip for you. This is a quick one. Almost every time that you find a point of conflict with your spouse, with your mate, with your partner, with your girlfriend, with your boyfriend. Almost every time that you find a point of conflict you do two things at once. And the tip for today is to do one thing, then do the other thing.
The two things that you do at once are these. You announce that there is a conflict about X subject then you dive right into the discussion about this conflict. Now why is that bad? Well there’s no appointment. There’s no preamble. There’s no opportunity to mull it over. There’s no opportunity to think about it. There’s no getting ready for something that is potentially conflictive and volatile and stressful. It’s just okay now we’re doing this. And its two things at once.
So this is my tip for today is do one, and then do the other. What do I mean? First, announce. I want you to know that we have a disagreement about X subject. Or listen at some point soon we have to talk about this because we don’t see eye to eye. Or something has come up and we’re going to have to discuss it. And then that’s it. And then later our quiet time, over coffee, go for a walk and then you say are you ready to tackle that? And then when you’re both centered, with you are both at harmony inside, when you’re both ready for the give and take, then you discuss it.
So first one and then do the other. And that’s my tip for today.